Dear tortoise,

Slow and steady wins the race.

Yeah right.

Slow and steady may produce quality results in the long run, but it doesn't win the race.

No way you're beating the hare in the 400m dash.

I honestly think you made that story up, just to make yourself feel better.

It's not good to lie, tortoise.

Just because you're slow and always fail, it doesn't mean you should lie.

Especially if that lie leads to millions of small children thinking that if they just keep going, the faster person in the race will take a nap and they'll win.

That's a ridiculous thought.

Thanks a lot, tortoise.

With a hint of pessimism,

Felicity