Dear phone,

I'm afraid that if you continue to die, and become reanimated in my pocket,

I will have to shoot you.

Obviously, you are a zombie. And I'm cool with that.

Well, I'm MOSTLY cool with that.

The only time that I'm totally not cool with that is when you die,

and then decide that the perfect time to come back to life is in the middle of Social Studies.

And since I don't notice you coming back to life, you make sure that I do by turning on Voice Command.

And you go, "SAY A VOICE COMMAND."

And then in my head I'm like, "sheepsheepsheepsheep."

And the teacher says, "TURN THAT OFF."

And I say, "I'M TRYING TO~!"
And you repeat, "SAY A VOICE COMMAND."
And then I manage to finally turn you off and shove you into the depths of my backpack.

It's just an ordeal. An ordeal I don't need, phone.

So, unless you fix your reanimation problem, I WILL shoot you.

You have 3 days.

Seek help immediately, please.

With warning, 

Felicity