Dear bed,

Thank you fro having wheels.

I think that my life would be missing so much hilarity if you didn't have wheels.

Like when I wake up between you and the wall because I somehow moved you while I slept.

Or when Kenzy tries to push you against the wall, but because of your wheels you just bounce back.

And after a while, Kenzy's standing at the foot of my bed, pelvic-thrusting and yelling "I CAN'T WIN!"

Honestly, none of these things would be possible if you didn't have wheels.

However, you totally suck for making my back hurt forever.

I need a stupid form mattress or something.

Or perhaps I should actually use a pillow?

I don't know.

Love and a little hate,

Felicity